Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
