My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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