When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
