no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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