Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
