so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
