that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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