Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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