i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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