Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
