ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
