no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
