It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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