I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
