I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
