she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize