I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
