What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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