We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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