i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You made out with two different species that night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
