The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
