you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
