she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
