how can u be prego again
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
