It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
