There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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