He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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