I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
