THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
