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i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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