I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize