Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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