It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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