grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
