just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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