bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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