Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
