Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I had to cum in my sink.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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