ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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