butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize