so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
