I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
