Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
