we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
