Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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