So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
