So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
