Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
