STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
