2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
