i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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