I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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