The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
