I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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