if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
