I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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