I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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