All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
