He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize