Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
