just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
