Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to have your abortion
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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