haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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