I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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