Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
