I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
