Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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