Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
