fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
