HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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