My first STD was from a foam party
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
