I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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