i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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