I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize